We got married on 1st May 2010, and I have finally got round to posting about it!! There’s not a lot to say really, we had a great day, everyone had a lovely time, it was all done on a very tight budget, and I have some lovely photos to remember it by!

On that note, you wouldn’t believe the trouble I had finding a photographer who lived up to my expectations, and more importantly – was actually prepared to do the job! I contacted loads of local photographers whose work I liked, and after the initial ‘Yes, of course it’s no problem you being a wedding photographer!’, they never answered the phone and/or email again!! I finally found a great photographer who travelled all the way down from Oxford to do my photos, and hopefully if my blogging software works correctly, a couple of my favourite photos should appear below. I have no qualms about recommending him to anyone (if I’m not available of course, or if you are too far away from me!), his name is Ian Allenden and the website is www.daisy-daisy.net

I would also like to recommend a great cake maker based in Reading, her name is Rebecca and her website is www.streatleyvillagecakes.co.uk. Not only did our cake look fabulous (the highest praise I can give is that it was exactly as I saw it in my head), but it was utterly delicious! We were so glad to have some left over and ate it for a week!

We got married at Blaise Castle House, for those who want to know, and I must say it’s a gorgeous venue for very little money, beautiful grounds and the house is fabulous. Our reception was held at Henbury Golf Club, who I can’t recommend enough – nothing was too much trouble, and the manager Debbie Taylor was just brilliant – she decorated the whole place for us and did all our table arrangements too – she’s Superwoman in disguise I think!

Me getting ready

Me and my new husband!

Our fab cake!

Do the monkey!

I’ve been thinking back over the many weddings I’ve done in the past few years, and it’s surpising when I think of the times I’ve had to do things that aren’t technically the photographer’s job.

I’ve had to:
I have lost count of how many brides I’ve had to lace into their dresses! As I have a background in corsets (I used to make them), my experience has been quite valuable in this area! So a note to brides – make sure you know who is supposed to be getting you into your dress, and more than this – make sure that they know too!!

Myself and my assistant had to do a bride’s hair and makeup once when her friend (who had been roped in to do it) was having problems. The bride had false nails put on that morning and couldn’t do her makeup in the normal way, and was running late too. So what I learned from this for my own wedding was to make sure you have plenty of trials with your hair, and if you are having false nails applied, do it a couple of days before so you can practice putting your makeup on, and make other arrangements (i.e. get a friend to help) if you have troubles!

I had one bride whose hairdresser had 6 people’s hair to do in 2 hours – needless to say she did struggle a bit! I ended up getting the straighteners out and mucking in, but the bride was still 30 minutes late for her wedding – so make sure that you allow plenty of time to get everything done, you’ll be amazed how quickly the time goes on the day!

I’ve also been a handy taxi/van for people and/or items that need to get from the church to the reception venue, especially bridesmaids! If you have a wedding car planned to take the newly married couple to the reception, make sure (if you have bridesmaids) that there will be space in someone else’s car for them – don’t leave them stranded!!

I hope that my experiences will help you avoid some of the problems I’ve encountered in the line of work, though to be honest – I love mucking in and am always ready to help out – especially since I can’t take many photos if nobody is ready! I always come prepared, and my camera bag has safety pins, plasters and paracetamol in it – just in case – and I can tell you that I have had to replenish my stock more than once, especially plasters because you don’t tend to wear in your wedding shoes, do you?!

One more tip from my problems on my own wedding day – whatever you do, don’t lock your bouquet in your hotel room and only remember it once you get to the wedding venue!!!

Ros

The Bride

A bride’s wedding day should be the most important day of a her life, the one day where it is all about her (and her new husband of course), so naturally the bride will be involved in every aspect of the wedding organization. She will have the final say on every decision to do with the wedding, and with any luck will be able to organize the wedding without alienating friends of family. Beware that you do not turn into Bridezilla! You may want to control everything but remember that others only want to help – so try delegating smaller tasks and take some of the stress away!

Both sets of parents will appreciate any consultation, as it’s an important day for them too, and don’t underestimate how helpful they can be – they’ve been around a lot longer and probably have lots of useful advice and contacts that could even save you money!

The Groom

The groom does not simply have to turn up and say ‘I do’. He has sole responsibility in choosing his bride’s engagement ring, and he is jointly responsible for big decisions like the wedding venue, reception venue, wedding photographer and catering. He will choose the outfits for himself, his Best Man and the ushers, and be involved in compiling the guest list – traditionally presenting both family lists to the bride’s mother for her to send the invitations.

The groom should arrive half an hour before the ceremony is due to start (especially for a civil ceremony, as the registrar will need to see him beforehand to fill out forms and pay the fee). He should greet the guests as they arrive, and then be waiting for his bride in the ceremony room when she arrives. After the ceremony, he will escort his bride up the aisle on his left arm and after the photographs are complete, travel with her to the reception, where he should introduce her to any friends or relatives she has not met. After his father-in-law’s speech, he should ’reply’, thanking his parents-in-law, everyone involved in organizing the wedding, and ‘toast’ the bridesmaids before handing over to his best man. For the first dance, traditionally the groom would invite his mother-in-law to dance, before the bride’s father would ‘cut in’, leaving the groom free to dance with his bride.

The Best Man

Being Best Man is a huge responsibility that should not be undertaken (or offered) lightly. His duties will include:

• Arranging the stag night (should not be the night before the wedding under any circumstances)
• Making sure the groom arrives at the venue on time and sober
• Issuing buttonholes to groom, ushers and male guests.
• Issuing Orders of Service to guests
• Organising the seating with the wedding venue.
• Safely transport the rings to the wedding
• Presenting rings to the clergyman / registrar when asked
• Witnessing the signing of the register
• Organising the Ushers
• Payment of fees (church / registrar) on behalf of the groom
• Escorting the chief bridesmaid or Maid of Honour down the aisle
• Organising the transport from the ceremony to the reception.
• ‘Best man’ speech at the reception.
• Reading out any telegrams and messages.
• Having first dance with the chief bridesmaid.

The Bridesmaids

In much the same way as the best man’s role to the groom, the Chief Bridesmaid (usually the bride’s sister or best friend) has a supporting role to the bride – but one that will not involve making a speech. Her duties are assisting the bride in getting dressed before and after the ceremony. She holds the bridal bouquet during the ceremony and is responsible for the organisation of the other bridesmaids. She will be escorted from the church by the best man.

Responsibilities of the Chief Bridesmaid:

Assisting the bride in recording accepted and declined invitations.
Organising the Hen Night.
Helping the bride with her choice of wedding dress.
Meeting the bride at the entrance to the wedding venue.
Confirming final checks with florist, photographer, reception etc.
Witnessing the signing of the register.
Re-arranging the bridal dress, veil and train at the wedding venue when necessary.
Being on hand to assist with the requirements of the bride as and when they arise.
Making sure the bride is ready on the day.
Accompanying the bride to the hairdresser on the wedding day.
Ensuring the brides transport is on schedule.
Checking that the bride has packed everything for the honeymoon.
Organising the flowergirls and bridesmaids.
Carrying the brides bouquet to the alter.
Lifting the brides veil at the alter.
Assisting the best man introduce people to each other at the reception.
Keeping the remainder of the wedding cake until the couple return from their honeymoon.
Returning any hired clothing.

Responsibilities of Bridesmaid:

·Assist Chief Bridesmaid with her preparations.
· Follow the bride into the church.

The Ushers

The ushers main duties are:

Showing people to their seats at the ceremony.
Distributing orders of service.
Distributing buttonholes.
Distributing hymn books.
Assisting the best man in organising the photographs.
Assisting the best man with organisation of transport.
Generally looking after the guests.
Escorting the bride’s mother to her seat.
Introducing guests to each other.

The Brides Parents

Traditionally, the bride’s parents had the ‘privilege’ of paying for the majority of the wedding expenses. Although today the costs are likely to be distributed among both sets of parents and the couple themselves, there are still responsibilities the bride’s parents maintain.

Discussing and agreeing the wedding planning with the groom’s parents.
Hosting the engagement party
Assisting the bride with the guest list.
Assisting the bride in sending out the invitations.
Witnessing the signing of the register.
Acting as host and hostess at the reception.
Greeting the guests as they arrive at the reception.
Mixing with the guests.

Bride’s Father:

Travels to church with his daughter.
Escorts his daughter down the aisle.
Gives his daughter away during the ceremony.
Witnesses the signing of the register.
Escorts the Groom’s Mother from the ceremony.
Makes the first speech at the reception.
Raises a toast to the bride and groom.
Bids farewell to departing guests.
He is traditionally the last person to leave the reception.

The bride’s mother has a vital role in supporting her daughter with all her preparations. She should listen and respect the brides wishes at every stage, even if these wishes do not match her own.

The Grooms Parents

There are no traditional roles for the groom’s parents to carry out. In the past it was an accepted obligation of the brides parents to to meet all wedding expenses. Today however, it is not unusual for the groom’s parents to make a considerable financial contribution. Therefore, it is good manners to consult the groom’s parents and include them in as much of the planning as possible.

Congratulate the bride’s parents on news of the engagement.
Welcome the future daughter-in-law into the family.
Organise a meeting where both sets of parents can discuss arrangements.
Agree the wedding plan with the bride’s parents.
Inform the bride’s mother of the number of guests from the groom’s family.
Welcome the guests to the wedding.
Mingle with the guests.

The Pageboys & Flowergirls

Attend pre-wedding rehearsals.
Accompany each other down the aisle – following the bridesmaids.
Distribute rose petals or confetti to guests after ceremony.
Appear in wedding photos.

Flowergirls may walk in front of the bride scattering flower petals or confetti down the aisle. They may also carry posies which they give to guests as they during the procession.

Pageboys traditionally help carry the long bridal train. They may also carry the rings, on a cushion, to the altar.

The Guests

There is no doubt that the guests have the best deal when it comes to organising a wedding. They have no planning worries. However, they do have a number of simple responsibilities. They include:

Accepting (or declining) the invitation.
Buying a gift from the couples gift list.
Arriving punctually at the wedding venue.
If applicable ensuring children are kept under control.
Throwing confetti.
Not heckling the speeches at the reception.
Thanking the couple and the parents for their kind invitation.

Traditionally, the bride’s parents would pay for the majority of costs associated with the wedding. Nowadays, since the costs are so high (it’s estimated that the average wedding today costs between £7,000 and £15,000) the rules and traditions have relaxed somewhat, and both sets of parents and the bride and groom themselves are likely to share the expenses. No matter who is paying, it’s important to set a budget and stick to it, to stop costs spiraling out of control.

The Bride traditionally pays for the Groom’s wedding ring and his present. It’s not unusual now for the bride to contribute towards other wedding costs  in today’s equal-opportunities society.

The Groom traditionally pays for:

• Bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring
• Ceremony fees (either religious or civil ceremony)
• Organist, choir, bell ringers (if a religious ceremony)
• Marriage licence fee or registrar’s fee
• The Bride and bridesmaid’s bouquets
• Buttonholes for the Best Man, Ushers and male guests
• Corsages for the female guests
• Presents for the bridesmaids, ushers and best man.
• Transport to wedding venue for himself and his Best Man.
• Transport to reception venue for himself and his wife.
• Bouquets of flowers for his mother and mother-in-law to be presented during the speeches
• The honeymoon

Again, it is not unusual for the groom to contribute towards other wedding costs today.

The Bride’s Parents

Traditionally the parents of the bride would pay for:

• Wedding Invitations
• Order of service sheets
• Announcements in local papers.
• The wedding cake
• Bride’s dress
• Bridesmaids’ dresses
• Reception venue hire
• Catering at the reception venue
• Entertainment and decorations at the reception venue
• Bride’s transport to the wedding
• Church / ceremony flowers
• Flowers for the reception
• Photographer/Videographer
• Toastmaster

Nowadays, the Bride and Groom’s parents tend to split the costs of the wedding in a way that is suitable for them both. It is advisable to get both sets of parents together (why not take them out for a meal) and decide between you who will pay for what, and set the budget so that everyone knows where they stand.

I would love to put other people’s kids here too – but I’m waiting for permission from their parents, I’m sure you understand. However, please enjoy my gorgeous little girl, who has decided she LOVES the camera now, and screams with joy every time the flash goes off!!

Just a quick note to say thanks to all the parents who allowed me to be let loose on their children at St Andrews toddler group in Filton on Friday. I hope you will all be please with your pictures – I had a blast taking them and I hope that your kids had a great time too, some of them are born models (you know who they are)!!

It’s been a long time coming – I’ve been so busy with weddings that I’ve barely had a chance to upload photos, let alone write a blog! Still, here it is, and over the coming months I will be updating my blog with helpful information when planning your wedding, as well as updates on recent weddings and events, and forthcoming events too!